...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I look better un-naked...
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
