Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Randomize
