I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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