I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
