North Korea, Best Korea!
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
