And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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