the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
