So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
