Dual....:-)
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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