don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You are the jesus of drinking
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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