we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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