i need an iv and a liver transplant
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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