She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
50% drunk capacity currently
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
