for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
