This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I think I died a long time ago.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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