If i come over, it means nothing
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
The adults are the big ones right?
He did a backflip because drugs
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
