I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
