I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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