You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
