he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
