After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
