HIV tests are more positive than that guy
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
