so explain again why im purple
no
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
