I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
