I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
