Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Randomize