and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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