I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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