am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
