I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
