i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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