So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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