That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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