nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
