Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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