Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Randomize
