i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
