I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
