I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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