But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
