dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
