Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
