why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
sex in a hospital.. check
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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