Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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