I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
