her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
