Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
