never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
