Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
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