I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
