I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
