How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
