Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
