It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
