There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
