At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
