RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
