This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
