she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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