some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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