i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Randomize
